The "difference"...
Every-time a person who looks at my hand the first thing they say is 'are you mad?' By now I've become immune to not take it as an insult or disturbing my mind more. But there was a time when I'd end up cutting myself again just because of the words used to "describe how I am", according to them that is.
A couple of weeks back we started an organization within ourselves. Our first project was in a hearing-impaired school, where a young lad glimpsed at my hand and started asking as "what happend to my hand?" for a second I didn't know what to answer him, and then another young kid who started sign-ing at him and asking him not to ask anything as he knew answering for that would make me feel un-comfortable. This was the first time in my life a person did not judge me or commented without knowing about the reason behind those cuts.
For a second I felt as if some people do understand if not everyone but atleast someone. I never really understood how the little boy stopped him from asking me that. I could only feel that a person who knows how it is to be judged can feel the real pain of having to deal with the inside pain and the outsiders comments.
But ever since that day, if anyone questioned me I do not feel bad even 1% as the young boy who saw me for the first time, who did not know me at all but still understood that words hurt when its used at the time when it should not have been.
And now, I look at these cuts and feel that, I was not in my senses while doing that nor I had the strength to ignore that thought of doing so. These scars remind me each day about the changes which took place in life and where I stand today, knowing what could be right and wrong.
Anytime we feel alone, lets not jump into the conclusion that no one will ever understand us. Because, somewhere someone does. =)
A couple of weeks back we started an organization within ourselves. Our first project was in a hearing-impaired school, where a young lad glimpsed at my hand and started asking as "what happend to my hand?" for a second I didn't know what to answer him, and then another young kid who started sign-ing at him and asking him not to ask anything as he knew answering for that would make me feel un-comfortable. This was the first time in my life a person did not judge me or commented without knowing about the reason behind those cuts.
For a second I felt as if some people do understand if not everyone but atleast someone. I never really understood how the little boy stopped him from asking me that. I could only feel that a person who knows how it is to be judged can feel the real pain of having to deal with the inside pain and the outsiders comments.
But ever since that day, if anyone questioned me I do not feel bad even 1% as the young boy who saw me for the first time, who did not know me at all but still understood that words hurt when its used at the time when it should not have been.
And now, I look at these cuts and feel that, I was not in my senses while doing that nor I had the strength to ignore that thought of doing so. These scars remind me each day about the changes which took place in life and where I stand today, knowing what could be right and wrong.
Anytime we feel alone, lets not jump into the conclusion that no one will ever understand us. Because, somewhere someone does. =)
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