Stuck in a Doorway

It led to nowhere, doing things twice, thrice and even more. Life was already hard enough, and with "this" it
was no frosting on the cupcakes. Living with it was almost next to impossible.
That feeling we have, thinking that we're here to save the people and that we're sent by an unseen force as a medium just to protect the people.
Years passed by but the compulsions never seemed to stop. Not knowing about whom to speak out to even if I did would they believe it? I asked myself this question everyday and never confessed about what was going on inside my mind.
And every time I thought of reaching out to speak of it, the thought of laughter made me to stop.
A hyperactive kid suddenly shuts down and stops socialising..? Why?
I still remember when it all started, I was 10 years old. School was the last thing in my mind. I never wanted to even look at school nor leave the home and go out. For years I'd been stressed, scared and embarrassed.
After being impeccably harassed by teachers and students for years, staying at home and never attending school seemed like heaven on earth. But every tot had to attend school as years went by and you reach to a certain age.
Later when days went by I started doing few strange rituals just to avoid school.
The very thought of school would frighten me and I wanted to miss school every day.
The compulsions worked like by doing a set of rituals we'd attain anything that we wanted to, but that was just
our thoughts and getting the thing we desire was mere-ly a co-incidence.
End of each year I would think maybe from the next morning I would be normal, I'd have no worries or
no stress. It’s not a bundle of joy to carry a huge burden in our head at that age, trust me.
But the next morning I saw no difference, just the same old head cracking compulsions which kept on
getting more obsessive through time.
The minute I'd say to myself its all in my mind just 'stop it' I'd see a reckless accident or something
much worse. The thought that by following few rituals our head would be clear and we'd feel peaceful
was never a simple thing. This thing went far beyond just "few compulsions", now even to breathe or
blink was difficult, it had taken over my life.
Sometimes it did occur to me, if I was the only one living this way or were there others too?
At that moment my question was un-answered.
I never opened out about what was going on in my mind, I knew, none would believe in a word I say.
At one point even the doctors seemed like hungry flesh eating vultures and I just wanted to stay away
from them.
Year after year, trying new school and new doctors nothing seemed to work. By now I had become
a burden to my family. And I just wanted to know how I could change that.
After a very long time, I'd become adjusted to the sufferings of OCD, I could tell everyone its just another
psychological problem. All thanks to an online test, I had a self diagnosis and found out every detail about it.
I finally opened out to my mother and went to a doctor.
His treatment turned out to bring about immense changes in me, and I became mentally flawless in few years.
By the time I was finishing my treatment, I got my health and happiness.
Now I know the wait and struggle was worth every bit, cause I learnt the importance of life the hard way.
And now I found my happy ending. For now :P

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